Day 30

My super Ted,

Where do I even begin…

Love. I will start there. I always thought love was an elusive thing, especially love at first sight but I always knew that when it showed up, communication is the water that would help it bloom. You have shown me this in more ways than I can imagine and even if life has sort of made me cynical I do know that love can come out of something as ridiculous as circumstantial chance.

Looking at you, it reminds me of how much I always liked to look directly at the sun as a child knowing very well I would have to look away from the blinding glare after a few seconds… And I suppose right now, it’s just as well. We need to look at love with child like innocence, because I find that there’s comfort in knowing it does exist even though it may sting you sometimes. When it comes to you though, am thankful to God for so many things like the fact that, just like when I used to stare at the sun as child, I now look in the face of love and you, you are like that sun except am not being blinded by it, am being engulfed by it in all the right ways.

So many movies I have watched about love but this, our story… This is legit my favorite because in this one,  am the girl that gets the amazing man.

It’s been one month since u returned to your country and I know now more than ever that you, super Ted, are my love.

 

 

My Super Ted,

I think about all the things I could have said but didn’t and thankfully they are really not that many, if at all. I wonder if maybe in the moments I didn’t say much, my body was able to convey what I felt in the moment. Able to show you what my tongue was still trying to put forth, what my eyes said, my hands,  my smile… A part of me thinks you felt it,  you’re blessed this way and I can never find the words to express how grateful I am for it. I wonder if you ask yourself whether  I wonder if this is real for me as it is real for you. YES. It is.

If only thoughts were as tangible as having you next to me right here, right now… I would find a way to capture all these things and show you. Show you just how much I have wished to be able to hold time, rather than a day and hold on,  just a little longer, with you ofcourse.

Your Summer Rain.

 

Day 1

Super Ted,

Do you know that sinking feeling that’s so far deep in your belly and chest at the same time, you can barely settle?  That’s what my day was like after you left.  I spent the entire day pretty much replaying everything we have talked about from that Wednesday night in July up to the call before you boarded. And fellowship… Well, aside from how I would have liked to see how u handle the rain, it was as marvelous as it always is. And when I got home to bed,  I really sniffed the entire bed trying to find a spot with the scent of you. Hahaha.  I honestly don’t understand how it’s possible to even put in words the depth to which I miss u.

 

HOLD ON!….Change is coming

Is it just me or is blogville just generally slow…or maybe it’s the heat?? anyhow, so…
well, i realised that sometimes, no matter how much you try, to you know, generally live right by most standards, circumstances around humanbeings will change. sometimes so much that it becomes inevitable for some people to change. At times for good or other times, for worse. Any which way, i think in whatever case, it is imperative for one to maintain what is core to him/her and accept change when it comes…heck, Obama is in the White House, no? Understand that in as much as some people or some situations will change, some will not! Those are the things that matter. Hold on to those, keep your head up and carry on.

ONELove,
Xiona

 

The one about vanity, not mine…Chuck’s. what? you dont know Chuck? He is the g..oh just read the post!

Am i late to the Big Bang Theory party?? oh well, you know those little snippets of a mini essay that show for a split second before the episode is completely out? those are Chuck’s (note the first name basis!lol) vanity cards. i was curious when i first saw them so i got the show on dvd and so now i pause when they come right up and this is one of them that i loved.

In the near future, we will see brain scan technology that can determine, without fail, if someone is telling the truth. Shortly thereafter, we will be able to buy mobile devices that perform the same task on the fly. In other words, we are on the verge of having all of our conversations constantly and instantly monitored for veracity. This would then spawn a counter-technology comprised of personal mind shields that keep oneself from being scanned (the use of which would, of course, imply that one is keeping secrets). The end result? Universal honesty, initially as a result of the duress of surveillance, will become the norm. Then, over time, this mode of thinking, communicating and behaving will become second nature. This will usher in the dawn of a new civilization. After thousands of years of human suffering, world peace and the long-fabled ‘good will towards all men’ will have finally arrived. The end of lying and cheating will also mark the end of scripted entertainment. So, you know, there’ll be a downside.

Chuck oh Chuck!!!

ONELove,
Xiona

 

Maybe…

You know, maybe sometimes we are alot more damaged than we care to admit to ourselves, maybe we want what we want so bad we are willing to put aside what the inner voice keeps telling us…or even maybe, the truth is right before our very eyes, sometimes it has been so well hidden that when it comes out, it seems like it’s far from the reality. i dont know. It all just makes sense when put in a bigger frame. And looking at the frame, i guess it doesnt hurt to put down the crayons, grab the rubber and start afresh.

Sometimes when all we can do is wait, then Wait is all we have to do.

Joyeux Noel y’all.

ONELove,

Xiona

 

I didnt forget….

…And heelllooooo!!! So, just so you know, that thing i keep doing where i…wait, lets just call it thaksgiving post, ok? good. so yeah, I didnt forget…i have just been really busy with …you know this n that. But well, here i am, i want to give thanks.

1.God

Being the same yesterday, today and forever…and bearing in mind that His mercies are new every morning, i want to say am sorry for the times i have not acted like the King’s daughter that i am. Am thankful God for You and Your blessings upon me. Take for example My Son, My angel and My love…I know that a gift so great is one only God could create and am reminded every time i see his face.

I am thankful for my family, the funny lot that they are. The steady support that they are with relentless prayer and intercession. My Sister Mwiza, like my brother says, it’s not that God loved her so much that He asked her to come work for Him in Uganda (you see, she is Rwandese and came to Uganda not knowing anyone here, long story in there but anyway, God led her to our family and mum took her on and her children are mum’s grandchildren too) so anyway, as i was saying, It is a more accurate statement in Timothy’s view to say that God indeed loves us, we know because Mwiza is such a blessing. Family, you know, is not just about biological relations…it is way more than that. For my biological family to understand and embrace that fact, am grateful.

I am blessed with fabulous friends, hilarious and fabulous. Leona…That girl is of a breed so rare i cant quite wrap my mind around what a blessing she is in my life and those around her. Linda, Eva, Dasher, Yvonne….these wonderful people, individually are rays of light which put together are in fact a force to reckon with. and am not even exaggerating!!

The Tuesday fellowship….a wonderful indulgence that.

New friends i made over time, each bringing with them a lesson. Enrico…many times i just sit and wonder how long it would have taken me to learn everything i have learnt from you in the time i have known you had i not stood next to you at that place that shall remain undisclosed(lol). The Serato ‘factoid’ is one i shall continue to use to ruffle a few feathers… 🙂

I have made my peace with the fact that sometimes, people will not always tell all there is to tell. I have learnt that sometimes ‘things’ left behind come back and manifest as circumstances that dictate different from what we would like. I have also learnt that it is important to take it all in stride and know that in the grand scheme of things, all lessons learnt from whatever dealings, infact add to who you are…they are the tiny threads weaving together to create the beautiful tapestry that is your persona that everybody sees and knows. I have learnt that nothing is too small or too big to be prayed about. To be able to see and recognize God’s many ways of teaching and moulding me, His bold display of great love and affection for us all….am thankful

I could go on and on….but well, i just wanted to say that I have been blessed in many ways and i am thankful that i have.

 

ONELove,

Xiona

 

…gasp…

Just when you think it’s all rosy, Its amazing the things you will find when you listen to and search your heart.

ONELove,
Xiona.

 

Word of advice

Adapting to situations that seemingly do not have you in mind will only have you compromising on who you are.

Side note: I have your back my Cheeken.

 

ONELove,

Xiona

 

Do You? …..and no, not the song by Ne-yo.

Do you ever sit by yourself….zone out a little like every one likes to put it? If you don’t, what are you so scared of? What do you think you’ll find out about yourself, and if you think there is something about you that you know will become very apparent if you do, why then are you not doing anything about it in the first place? Or is it the slow steady and resilient voice you have heard before that scares you….you are afraid of what it might tell you? are you? oh well….i know a song that reminds us to be still and know He is God….just like He told Joshua during the Exodus….chances of ‘knowing Him’ are simmered down if every spare time you get, you are off to facebook, write, drink with buddies,jog with ur ipod churning out Mystikal yelling doing his thing. Be still…every once in a while, just lay on your couch, tv off, radio off, laptop off…just you and your thoughts. see what you find there. I know what i have found there and i see who i am as a result of that…do you?

ONELove
Xiona